Posts Tagged ‘independence’

Saving the Family/Marriage – an uphill task for Indian Men

July 7, 2010

Since the beginning of civilization, a Family, the smallest & fundamental social unit of society is serving the purpose of primary training ground for nurturing physiological, emotional, social and psychological  needs/strengths of an individual irrespective of his/her gender. As Family is a strongest pillar of a society & civilization, it needs strong bonds of ethics, values & morals to remain intact and meaningful. More so, because wherever, a group of people resides together some collision in thoughts and life style bounds to happen. Therefore, family values are important and should be cherished and nurtured. Love, support, friendship, and guidance are key qualities necessary to form a strong family bond. The nation/ society having strong family system can easily absorb any external or internal trouble/threats and it icons a true vibrant society.

             India was once known for it’s very strong Joint Family System, so practiced since from ancient times and strongly interwoven by ethics & values. The family was headed by an oldest person mainly Man ( however, in some parts of India by Female) who was having responsibility as well as authority to safeguard purpose and the key qualities of family bond alongwith passing on the ethics & values over to next generations. But the in-roads (in the name of so called development) of western culture, media, equality, rights, empowerment etc. in the society has shattered this concept of Indian joint family and the nuclear family system prevailed.  

The main supporter of nuclear families is young Women of today, as today’s 99% young women are only willing to have a nuclear family on the pretext of burden of household work, harassment, ill-treatment etc. in joint family but the truth is, it gives them an unrestricted freedom of their choice beyond any ethics, values and responsibilities. The mind of these young women is more influenced by the feminists propaganda than their own grand mothers and other old females in their family. This change in mindset of young women and the added fuel to this thinking by the Government and other feminist pressure groups in the name of empowerment and equality to women coupled with enforcing of gender biased laws is the main reason of breaking of families and joint family system in India.

However, in nuclear family system too, the responsibility to keep family intact solely lies on Man only, besides his legal commitment of fulfillment of all other needs of the family. So, marriage has became a double edged sword for Men in India and Men faces a tricky situation, firstly, if he chooses a nuclear family under pressure from his wife, he is accused of leaving his parents & kin and carries this guilt for life, besides this, it gives undue elevation to the unscrupulous wife’s moral to dictate her terms and ill designs. Further, wife once successful in separating her husband from his parents and breaking the in-law’s family doesn’t stop there but instead encouraged with her this achievement she continue to adapt this strategy to make her husband to bow to her any unlawful demand(monetary, personal or social) in future. Under the threat of legal tools especially designed for her by Indian Government, husband has to obey her because the legal impunity granted to wife in India is very much clear from what even the Apex legal authority i.e. Hon’ble Supreme Court of India has reiterated to the husbands of this country time and again that “Move left if your wife says so or move to right if she desire so”.

Secondly, if he doesn’t leave his parents (because he is the one who lived with them for 25-30 years and very well know their habits & nature and is the best judge among both parents & wife), his life can be made hell easily by his empowered and legally strengthened wife, who with motives to take revenge, to secure her future and to extort money from him not only tries to teach lesson to him but to many others in his family by implicating them in various false criminal cases like dowry, domestic violence etc. which are so gender biased that they can be set into motion merely on her complaint.

In this scenario and ever increasing lust for money and power in Indian society, it becomes impossible to strengthen the bonds of ethics & values in family and the key qualities necessary to form a strong family like love, support, friendship, and guidance looks a distant dream. But strangely & ironically, everybody(judiciary, society or Government) still expects from Man, who is already in such a hot soup with social as well as legal adversities all around to save family/marriage. The Man is panelized economically, emotionally, physically and socially for any failure of marriage/family as he is the one who is supposed to and is legally made responsible to save the family / marriage. Nobody be it society, Government, judiciary or police is giving any heed to his problems/pressures but continues to pamper women on the age-old beliefs & myths. So, the big question remains in front of him is  How to save family (may be joint or nuclear) or marriage ?  All the wild blames are directed towards him but his endless sufferings goes-by unnoticed. Moreover, in this bad situation, he is being alienated more & more by gender biased laws and the only solution that emerges for Man is to say NO to marriage itself. Is this what the society, Government or feminists want ?

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……… then Why I LOVE INDIA ?

May 26, 2010
(Pl. read till end to be able to reach the truth)

After hitting by numerous false gender biased laws, I asked this question thousands of time from myself  and then I summarized, the answers I got from Me on  a piece of paper and I realized that

India is my country and I love India,  NOT BECAUSE

  1. it has a false belief  that society is a MALE DOMINATING society.
  2. here, women are UNDULY PAMPERED  by everyone be it Government, politicians, judiciary or society.
  3. here, women are kept TO LET LOOSE to play with Indian matrimonial laws by misusing them.
  4. here, the MEN has only RESPONSIBILITIES but NO RIGHTS.
  5. here, LEGAL TERRORISM is wide spread and Government is not paying ANY HEED to it.
  6. here, Women Empowerment is being carried out by DIMINISHING Womanhood
  7. it is being governed by feminist’s POLICY & WISDOM.
  8. here, the MEN contributes 82% OF TAXES but have NO PLATFORM to raise their voices.
  9. here, the MEN has NO MINISTRY or Commission even  when ANIMALS has.
  10. here, the MAN CAN NOT COMPLAIN because he is being punished for atrocities his fore fathers has done on Women.
  11. here, MARRIAGE is made a CRIME.
  12. it is becoming a FATHERLESS SOCIETY and father is needed only for “ Y ” chromosome.
  13. here, father IS NOT supposed to be CAPABLE of raising his children well.
  14. here,  CHILDREN are used as tool & weapon for EXTORTION.
  15. Here, children are taken to COURTS & POLICE STATIONS rather than to their parental home.
  16. here, Men is treated as FREE ATM machine.
  17. here, CUT & PASTE is used TOO MUCH in drafting and framing any matrimonial & family law.
  18. it has skew-eyed ANTI-DOWRY  and clumsily drafted DOMESTIC VIOLENCE laws.
  19. here, INNOCENTS  are arrested/jailed on false allegations and SUFFERS merely on a statement of wife.
  20. here, in-laws are portrayed as CRIMINALS and ELDER ABUSE by DIL is legalized.
  21. here, even INDIGESTION to  wife is termed as “DOWRY” problem.
  22. here, SUICIDES by husbands on account of marital harassment is no BIG THING.
  23. here, DOWRY GIVERS and husband killers are set ESCORT FREE.
  24. here EVERY death of married women is a “DOWRY DEATH”.
  25. here, “NAME CALLING” of wife is treated as Domestic Violence.
  26. here, UNSCRUPULOUS women are ENTITLED for abundance of rights without any responsibility.
  27.  here, FAILED MARRIAGE is  a CURSE & sole responsibility of husband.

 

But,  I love India BECAUSE , I took birth in the land of

a)      Lord “KARISHNA”, who had 16,000 wives and nobody was having any problem.

b)      Lord “RAMA”, who deserted his wife “DEVI SITA” for life without any maintenance & divorce.

c)      Lord “SHIVA”, whose wife “DEVI SATI” on the insult of her husband, entered in “Fire” and was burnt to death.

d)      Lord “HANUMAN” (immortal & omnipresent), who is happily ever living because he chose to be a bachelor.

and till Government, NCW, WCD & feminists brought-in the pseudo Women Empowerment

e)      Where Womanhood was worshiped  as “DEVI MAA” .

f)       Where Goddess name comes first  like SITA-RAM, RADHA-KARISHAN etc.

g)      Where wife was called “GARIH LAKSHMI” and marriage was a Sacred Institution.

h)      Where wife was believed to be  “ARDHANGINI” of a MAN.

i)        Where Womandood was sybbolized as “SHAKTI”.

j)       Where even rivers, forests, trees, mountains (nature)  was called as “MOTHER NATURE’.

k)     Where the country itself is called “ MOTHER INDIA”

l)        Where “ MATA SAVITRI “ brought her husband’s life back even from “YAMA’.

m)   Where Satyawati Raja Harishchander sold everything he belongs “EVEN HIS FAMILY” for truth and justice.

n)      Where countless” MEN “ gave their lives  to earn INDEPENDENCE for their families, kin & kith.

o)       Where ELDERS were worshiped like GOD.

p)      Where people were recognized by the ETHICS, VALUES & MORALS they carry in their family.

Isn’t Loving India my way is

“ YEH TO BADDA TOING HAI”